I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
