So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
