do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
