my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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