Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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