dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My penis needs a shock collar
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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