She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
