I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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