Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
