found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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