I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
