the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
