so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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