Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
