If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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