Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
