I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How's work?
Spinning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
