So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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