Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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