I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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