I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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