We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
