dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
