my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
