I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
