omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
