just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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