dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My vagina just recognized that song.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize