it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize