the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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