i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
