Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
