Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
