she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
