hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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