i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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