when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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