allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
