omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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