stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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