I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
