What did we do last night that was yellow?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
