As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
