she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just forgot I was standing up.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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