I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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