Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
