dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
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I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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