Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
