she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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