don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
