Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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