If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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