I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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