Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
