Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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