i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
