if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
