his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
sex in a hospital.. check
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
