I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's blow job season.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
