Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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