i just google imaged poop.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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