Ketchup is God's man juice
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
