Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
