what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
